82 Words per Minute

A couple of days ago, I started this really depressing post because, well, I was kind of depressed.

"I'm a nomad. And yet, here I am, idle. My friends are moving on with their lives, and I just feel like I'm waiting for my adventure to start."

How un-entertaining could I possibly be?!

See, what really happened was that I was talking to my friend who just moved to Ecuador and was having a fabulous time, and I somehow forgot how much fun I'm having in Discombobulate, Oregon. Seriously, Heathcliff, Elizabeth Bennett, Edmond Dantes, Gregor Samsa, and I are having fantastic parties together every night. We drink strong cocktails on my back porch overlooking the river. We play some pool, maybe some Monopoly, or Heathcliff's favorite, "Name that Phantom at the Window!" Edmond is always playing dress-up while Elizabeth and I play duets on the piano, just for background noise, you know. Gregor really loves the piano, but he can't always express it. He only speaks Insect, you see. We're just becoming the best of friends, as long as Heathcliff and Edmond don't decide they need to commit some sort of revenge on each other for that poker game last week. And you know what else? They appreciate me for me, Bachelor's in English and all.

(I sincerely apologize to those of you who are not book nerds, like myself, for the previous paragraph. It was sarcasm. The aforementioned characters belong to Wuthering Heights,  Pride & Prejudice, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Metamorphosis, respectively.)

What I didn't realize is that my adventure has but just begun! I've already made friends with a whole slew of literary characters, I've written five shitty pages of a novel, and I discovered that I can type 82 words per minute! What a feat! I took the test, and the lady said they don't find many people who can do such a thing as type 82 words per minute. I guessed she was ranking the accomplishment somewhere up there with my Bachelor's degree in English and graduating magna cum laude. But that's just a guess.

Point is, my life here is very exciting. Maybe a little different from the average adventure my friends seem to be finding themselves on. But this is my adventure, and I shall be proud of it. At the very least, I can put out blog posts at a higher word count per minute.

 Oh, and I went kayaking. The end.