Advice from an Alumna

I've been looking at these pictures on Facebook of all my younger friends in their graduation gowns, lining up for opening convocation at my Alma mater. That was me, only a year ago. Yeah, that's right...the school tortures the poor seniors by making them wear those stupid black gowns 3 or 4 times throughout the year. Opening convocation is just the first time. You process in looking all grown up in your gown, and you listen to the president talk, not about you...but about the new freshmen. You sit there, thinking you're the center of attention because you get to wear your gown that still has folds in it from being wrapped in plastic, but no...you're just 1 of 300 poster children representing how successful these new freshmen might be someday.

Then, you go home, take off your gown, and think about how nice it is to be a senior and not a lowly freshman. NO! You're only thinking that because you got to go to the president's house and drink champagne (and you snuck into the bathroom for a swig of tequila). You obviously weren't listening to the toast that was already pushing you out the door into alumnihood.

What really happens is that black omen hangs in your closet for the next 9 months until you actually have to wear it. It's this constant, blaring reminder that you, indeed, must walk across the stage, receive your diploma, and enter the "real world." All year, it's cheerfully yelling at you from the back of the closet, "Hey! Look at me! Whatcha gonna do about me? Can't ignore me forever!" And every time you get dressed for class or for some party where you just want to have fun during your senior year, you're like, "SHUT UP!" And then, you start to think you're crazy because your talking to a black, polyester gown.

Everybody told me that when it came time to graduate, I'd be excited to do it. They told me I'd be ready to get away from school and everything. You can ask my friends; I was fretting about graduating when I was a freshman. "I don't want to graduate!" was my mantra for four whole years.

Guess what, "Everybody," I'm still saying it, and I graduated 3 1/2 months ago. 

It's not that I'm not grateful to have a break from studying, homework, and class. It's not that I'm disliking my mode of existence in my parents' basement. It's not that I feel like a failure for being unemployed and over-educated for every job I'm applying for. It's not that I'm not looking forward to having adventures in Alaska. It's hard to explain why exactly I still don't want to graduate. I guess this hermit kind of misses being social, or perhaps, school was just the closest thing I had to home for four years.

Regardless of the reason, I will stand by these two statements from now into the foreseeable future...

1. "Everybody" was wrong. Don't listen to him anymore.
2. The black gown is an idiot. (I'd throw it in a fire if I didn't want the smell of burning polyester ingrained into my nostrils for the next 10 years.)